Humility in your marriage

As a psychotherapist specializing in marital counseling, I unfortunately encounter many couples in crisis. It’s incredibly sad and often feels hopeless, to both the couple and myself. I discover quite often and early on that the couple is caught in a nasty cycle of “I’m right, so you MUST be wrong,” which keeps them trapped in their crisis. An exit strategy does exist and it’s called…humility.

The broken marriages that walk into my office are often unions wherein session after session, both couple members are CHOOSING to continue to fight for their position…they’re right and their spouse is wrong. They’re so very stuck because they refuse to humble themselves, swallow their pride and be selfless enough to ask themselves, “What can I do to change the trajectory of our marriage?” or more to the point, “What’s more important, my being right or the health of our marriage? ” Asking these questions is difficult; HOWEVER, if we CHOOSE to ask the questions and subsequently change our behavior and/or thinking to a more humble position, there’s hope for an incredibly fulfilling union.

Spouses in the prideful, toxic trap of needing to be right, seemingly at any cost, would do well to stifle that need and humbly examine their role in the brokenness.

Is your marriage in the awful cycle of “I’m right, so you must be wrong?” If so, what can YOU do to improve your marriage?

Share this on...Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on TumblrShare on Google+Pin on PinterestPrint this pageEmail this to someone

About Lori Mitton

Lori Mitton is a licensed clinical psychotherapist (MA, LLP) specializing in marriage and family therapy. She is co-founder of Permanent Passionate Partnership.